Hello! Maybe it’s the weather, but I’m feeling really gloomy lately.
Tart and I had a fight about the pettiest thing you’ll ever imagine: he seen-zoned me. Me, being a self-entitled that I am, told him a lot of things – terrible things. I even wrote him a letter telling him I hate him so much. When we were getting okay, I told him that I got irritated by someone. I was in the height of my emotions and I got really frustrated. As always, Tart told me na hindi lahat ng bagay nadadaan sa galit. Minsan, you have to be understanding and patient to people. Tart is really kind. Unbelievably kind that in times like these, I always realize how horrible I am as a person. Then I opened up to him and expressed how he makes me feel like I am a bad person. Then he sent me this message:
“I want you to be better. Yung di nagfofocus sa sadness at galit. Gusto ko maging happy and kind princess ka that you really are.”
It made me teary-eyed.
It made me think of the fact that my profession and the toxic environment that I am in is slowly making me a complicated person that I am already close to forgetting who I really am. I’m slowly becoming and feeling entitled that I tend to assume people will always adjust for me and make the world easier for me. Or maybe it’s me talaga. I realized when life was simple and uncomplicated, I am more forgiving. Ngayon parang hindi na. Work is getting into me, palaging stressed, nagmamadali, always wants the best output at the soonest possible time, wants more and more money, always on my toes, a lot of sacrifices left unnoticed, subconsciously losing myself and a lot of precious time in the process. So wrong.
Hay thank You Lord for Jefray, my forever reminder of who I really am, in the midst of all the chaos we have in this world we live in. I was a happy and kind person. I’d like to think I could get back to that self. Tomorrow, when I wake up, I will work to be that kind of person again, happy, kind, forgiving.
♥ATTY PRINCESS♥ 